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Romans 8:28. And we all know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.

With this abrupt ending of my B.D theological Journey, I left college and returned back home. I reached home and transferred my Cactus and other flowers which I brought from my college, I paused for a while and all the memories in my four years studies reflected it back like a reel, in front of my eyes.

I finally understood everything happened for a reason, all the bad and good memories, the pains and the happiness, high and low… all work together and make the person whom I am today, one thing I am sure of now is I am different from me four years ago, and this Bible verse come so fresh in my heart as the Holy Spirit spoke to me and we all know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.

My dear, if you didn’t understand what is happening right now, even if it doesn’t make sense, always remember one day you will look back and will be able to say the same thing I said, all things work together for your own good.

“Trust Him anyway, in all the pain, confusion, chaos, heartache, etc. for He will work it out altogether for your own good.” – Nei

Proverbs 31:8 Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves, for the rights of all those who are destitute.

It is a sad truth, I am told not to speak up about what is in my heart, even my parents didn’t understand and it is a disheartening one. Nobody empathizes with me, nobody sees as I see. People expected theologians not to speak up for injustice done to others, we are expected to be quiet. People around me told me they didn’t expect that from me, when I speak up, they feel I am interfering or budding in their business and I am even told (It is your future, be careful with what you said). It is painful to be misunderstood.

But, the Bible told me to speak up for injustice being done to others, I cannot keep quiet about the injustice being done to our sisters and brothers in front of me. Dear, don’t be scared of what will happen in your future, will these things happen to you as well, remember Jesus is already there in your future and He will not shame you.

He is a God who empathizes with us, what a friend we have in Jesus. He knows fully well what your intention is.

“It hurts when your empathy is being misunderstood, but speak up for injustice, for this is what the Bible say’s.”- Nei

                                            

Jeremiah 30: 17 But I will restore your health and heal your wounds, declares the Lord.

After being badly hurt and broken by people I trusted the most, at one point in time in my life I even feel that I cannot trust and love others again like I used to. I knew deep down in my heart If I am a follower of Jesus I need to trust others, love others, help others as Jesus did, even though Jesus knew they are going to crucify Him, He still prays for them, forgive them ad love them anyway. I knew I need to do the same, but I can’t.

There comes a day on 25^th November 2019 a day after my birthday, I feel different, I was filled with joy, I can feel the warm sun, the cold air once again. As if the shackle in which I was bound was broken, I am set free… I can love, trust, smile again. God once again taught me how to love, trust others as He does, not expecting the same from others. God filled my heart with His love once again.  

The reason for this big change through prayer, I came to know only in the weakened, when I got my mobile, Carolyn told me on 24/11/19 on my birthday, prayer cell members and my family were praying for me on my birthday, even though I was not there. I thank God once again for I knew He was the one behind my healing.

People told me time heals, but I am sure time didn’t only Jesus heals…time only help us to forget or moved those bad experiences into our subconscious mind but it will pop out and hurt us, even more, when we go through a similar experience in the future but once we are healed by Jesus, we forgive, we didn’t forget but learn a lesson from it. When we face a similar experience in the future we know to whom we can take it. My dear if you are waiting for time to heal, you are waiting for something impossible…instead go to Jesus who is the doctor of doctors. 

“Time only helps moves the memories of bad experiences into our subconscious mind, only God heals.”-Nei

Romas 12: 21 Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

Back in 2018 in my first semester of the second year, I had a roommate named Elizabeth I love her with a pure heart and trust her too, so I went with her for my winter ministry in Bhagwanpur, she was not a healthy girl and she was sick now and then, I used to stay with her in the hospital and take care of her as much as I could, but it was after winter vacation on  13 Jan 2019, she didn’t come back to college, nobody knew the well about her, I was so worried, her mobile was out of coverage area, she didn’t give any information to the college she came back to college after 3 days, when the college inquired about it and I encounter her as I knew the reason why she was late, she told me I told her to do all those bad things.

It hurt me so badly, I asked how could she do this to me, as I look back everything she told me was a lie, I even sacrificed what I like, so that I can buy something for her.

The next day nothing goes in my brain, I was so sad, I could not tell anyone because I don’t want her to have a bad name. Finally, I make the decision to forgive and forget, because God convicted me that I’m not better, I also make many mistakes, yet God forgives me time and again, Jesus forgives and prayed for those who crucified him. So who am I not to forgive. So I prayed for her and bless her, till this day I am happy that I do everything I could for her and return the evil into good, I do it anyway.

“Do good anyway, even if it hurt like hell…one day, you will look back at it and appreciate what you had done.” -Nei

Lamentations 3:22-23 The Lord’s loving-kindness never cease, For His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; Great is Your Faithfulness.

It was 1/4/2019 one of the scariest days of my life, the 3rd day of the 2nd semester I have a Pentateuch exam with Hebrew preliminary as I cannot clear it on the 1st semester due to some incident, I was nervous. Studied as much as I could, woke up early, and ask God to help me, give me clarity of mind and most of all may your presence be with me, may this exam be worship unto you.

I ate bread with gem and went for an exam, I could recollect all that I had learned and wrote it well within 2 hours, then I was preparing for the next exam, as I do a revision of what I studied, I was so sleepy at the same time hungry. To my surprise Shiphra didi came and brought me tiffin (Fried bread with myonese topping), I can’t even imagine in my wildest dream. God indeed knew what I need, He supply me with all I need, to speak the truth  He gave me more than what I asked….I thank God there itself for surrounding me with such beautiful souls, through the love and support of my friends God taught me how to love others more.

Once again, I could see it clearly, how faithful He is to me, with awe! All I am left to say is “I LOVE You LORD” My dear look at how He has been so faithful to you today, I am sure this wonderful word will come out of your mouth “ I LOVE You, LORD”. Great is His Faithfulness, they are new every morning.

“He gave you more than you asked, He protects you from battles you don’t even know about…who on earth can be faithful like our LORD.”- Nei

Matthew 7:1, 2 “Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.”

 As Diana update her Whatsapp status, the picture of Prince Harry and Megan’s family, written in it that “the man I admire, who left all his wealth, fame, position, etc. For his little family, I can’t believe in today’s world a man like him still exists.” Henry commented on it Harry is a man who listens to his wife (wife boy), and Jeremy too commented on it remove your status people will think you are crazy, you are appreciating Harry but Megan is a characterless woman, she tore apart a royal family and gave a bad name to them. Seeing all these views people had on Megan, Diana was shocked, how people easily judged others, had they been in the royal household which make them say this? No. Had they ever met Megan? Did they ever spend time with them? No. Then how can they judge Megan’s character….we only see what is in the news and what is out, but do we even take a second before we Judged others on the other side of the story, not everything we hear, see is true…if Harry who is a prince, well intellect with one of the best education took his own decision, I believed he knows what he does….sometimes the reality is totally different from what we see. We don’t know what is happening behind the closed doors.

This is our society even in today’s world, we love to judge others, and everything which is happening in the royal family is said and think that it is all because of Harry characterless wife Megan. But my dear I just want to tell you that we need to really grow up, let’s ask Jesus to help us like he sees and listen like him. If today Jesus has to Judge us in everything we do, will he call us characterless….in spite of our faults and flaws, he covered all our sins and forgive us again and again, he pray for us continually to FATHER, but then, the Bible also told us do not judge or you too will be judge, in the same way, you judge others.

“Never judge others for what our eyes see, ears hear and the so called reality is not always true, we never know what someone is going through behind closed doors. – Nei

Isaiah 41:10 so do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

It was after winter vacation 2019, here comes another fear as I have to clear my due on 14^th Jan, but unfortunately my dad didn’t get paid yet, it was so clear that I cannot clear my fees on time, which makes me scared to travel back to college, I asked my family to pray for me. So that God will strengthen me to face the situation and I kept on praying as I traveled, it was the first time I am going to talk about my fees, I haven’t done this before, never imagined in my wildest dreams a day like this will come.

On the next day as I reached college, I am asked again to clear my due, but I could not gather up enough guts to meet up with the finance officer to talk about this matter, as I know, he is harsh, blunt, and cold regarding the finance stuff, but had to meet him anyway, so I prayed to God let him not be harsh this time God, please… Finally, on 15^th Jan, I gathered up all my strength faced him, and told him my problems…to my surprise! He greet me Happy New Year, handshake me…with a smiling face, asked me to take a seat, I told him, sir, I will probably give by next week, he said no problem…it was at that point I realized “ God It Is You”…then words of thanks flow out from my heart and lips, as I knew that He wanted me to face this situation face to face, He wanted me not to run away but to face all my challenges, telling me in another way, I AM in the process of shaping and molding you…trust me I will never leave you nor forsake you.

My dear, today if you are scared of the situation you are in, I will ask you to face it, doesn’t matter what your challenges are… He is just there with you, do not fear.

“You can boldly face all challenges when you know and understand that almighty God is with you in ages past, now, and ages to come.”- Nei

I Corinthian 1: 27-29 God chooses the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chooses the weak things of the world to shame the strong. God chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things-and the things that are not-to nullify the things that are, so that no one may boast before Him

On 7/2/2019 a good friend of mine Arpita told, you cannot sing, you cannot play musical instruments, you are not good at any sports, and you cannot eat Chilli, what kind of North East girl are you? I knew she was joking but giving deep thought into it, what she said was true for I have no talent to be called I am good at this, I have nothing to be proud of, I am just nothing…..

Then I look at God, with questions, why Lord You called a girl like me? Out there are many who can do much greater things for your kingdom, there are many who wanted to serve you. What is that you see in me thinking I am worthy of this task? Why do you give me this opportunity? Why did you love me so much? As if there is no other in this world.

When I look at myself, I saw nothing which is so special in me. Lord, there are many people out there, who are talented, who are good, who are willing to do anything for you, who will be able to do great things for your kingdom shake, instead of them all why me? This Bible verse came to me God choose the foolish to shame the wise, He choose the lowly and despised, so that no one may boast before Him. And God talks to me through Pastor TOM saying “You are special not because you are intelligent, not because you are beautiful, not because you have many talents and skills but because Christ in You is what makes you special”

My dear, if you today feel the same as me, take time to give your life into His hand, say to Him Abba I am an empty page, write your stories on my heart, you fill this empty page, so that a day will come when I will say I let you write my stories, and show the world what you have done with this empty page.

“Stop the question why me, Lord? And say Lord here I am an empty page, use it for your glory.”- Nei

1 John 2:5-6 This is how we know we are in Him: Whoever claims to live in Him must walk as Jesus did.

It was 26^th June 2021, a night of Evangelistic week organised by KWS Delhi, as the speaker spoke about how we have to follow Christ and read different scriptures here and there, my younger brother and elder sister was with me attending the church on Zoom platform both of them raised a question: How we are going to live in this world exactly as the Bible says? It is not possible, for this… there needs to be a different world where only the Christians should live according to the bible, or else it is not possible.

Listening to their comments a thought came into my mind, if it is impossible for us to live in a different way, will not God create a different world, but He didn’t do so, why? The answer is if we are indifferent world what about the others…we became Christian and follow Jesus through someone who left his place and share the word of God to our fore-fathers and once we know the truth we are given the opportunity and responsibility to share it to others who didn’t know this truth yet. To live out our faith in this world. Indeed following Christ is not an easy task and the road is narrow, it takes us to carry our cross every day. But, the good news is that it is not impossible, had this been impossible, God might have arranged other means. But He didn’t do it because He knew we can do it, not in our strength, but we can do it all through Him who gave us strength.

It is challenging to live in this world being different from others, live in this world but not of the world, we need to be daring to be different even if we look like we are a fool in the eyes of this world because we are called by God to be different. So that people around will see Christ in you and He will be glorified. Dear, if we walk as Jesus did, this is how the world will see and know that we are in Him.

“Living a different life in this world is indeed possible, but only for those who dare and through HIM alone.” – Nei

Colossians 3:17 “Whatever you do in word or deed, do in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through Him to God the Father.”

Yes, making a new-year resolution is important, but the difficult thing is getting started and the most difficult one is sticking to the resolution. Today my first point was to wake up by 7:00 am but I only woke up by 9:00 am which was two hours later, I failed my first point, yet my second point was changing my quiet time pattern and working on to depth Bible study, and take notes which took me almost 4 hours, It took almost half of my day, I still have points left to make it done. I don’t know, how I will be able to accomplish it.

I know, I am not perfect, I find it hard to stick on to my resolutions, I know sometimes I’ll make mistakes, some days I might be too lazy to do it, but the point is getting started, without which I won’t be able to accomplish my resolution. But as the Bible says, everything I do, It’s for the name of Lord Jesus, and I thank Him for helping me to get started.

My dear, I know you will have new-year resolutions, written down in your diaries or in your hearts, you might one to become the better you in this new year and have goals set for you. You also know how to achieve that, but the important thing is you need to get started, even if it’s not perfect, even if you make mistake. Just do it, in the name of the Lord Jesus and Give thanks to Him for helping you through it.

“You can accomplish only if you get started.”- Nei