Month: March 2022

John 15:16a You did not choose me, but I choose you and appointed you so that you might go and bear fruit.

As I thought about my calling, which I feel unfit for it, insecurities crept into my mind… wondering will I be able to complete this task in which I had stepped in.

Holy Spirit convict me, saying you are one of a kind, woven by God uniquely, for his specific purpose, so you heard the Voice and took a step of faith in spite of the uncertainties and all your insecurities.

Yes, the calling is unique, and you are quite unsure of it. Many eyes are veiled but blessed are those who heard this voice, it is few who understand the calling.

It is so real because you can feel it at the same time it is despair because you cannot prove it. The only thing is one has to march on with faith, to the unknown path tuning to the Voice, the inner Voice.

My dear, today if you hear the voice (the calling) don’t be scared take a step of FAITH, you are the blessed one because you didn’t choose Him, but He Choose you and appointed you so that you might go and bear fruit.

“If you take the step of faith in the calling, be sure of it He will carry you in the darkest hours”- Nei

Romans 8:28. And we all know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.

With this abrupt ending of my B.D theological Journey, I left college and returned back home. I reached home and transferred my Cactus and other flowers which I brought from my college, I paused for a while and all the memories in my four years studies reflected it back like a reel, in front of my eyes.

I finally understood everything happened for a reason, all the bad and good memories, the pains and the happiness, high and low… all work together and make the person whom I am today, one thing I am sure of now is I am different from me four years ago, and this Bible verse come so fresh in my heart as the Holy Spirit spoke to me and we all know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.

My dear, if you didn’t understand what is happening right now, even if it doesn’t make sense, always remember one day you will look back and will be able to say the same thing I said, all things work together for your own good.

“Trust Him anyway, in all the pain, confusion, chaos, heartache, etc. for He will work it out altogether for your own good.” – Nei

Proverbs 31:8 Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves, for the rights of all those who are destitute.

It is a sad truth, I am told not to speak up about what is in my heart, even my parents didn’t understand and it is a disheartening one. Nobody empathizes with me, nobody sees as I see. People expected theologians not to speak up for injustice done to others, we are expected to be quiet. People around me told me they didn’t expect that from me, when I speak up, they feel I am interfering or budding in their business and I am even told (It is your future, be careful with what you said). It is painful to be misunderstood.

But, the Bible told me to speak up for injustice being done to others, I cannot keep quiet about the injustice being done to our sisters and brothers in front of me. Dear, don’t be scared of what will happen in your future, will these things happen to you as well, remember Jesus is already there in your future and He will not shame you.

He is a God who empathizes with us, what a friend we have in Jesus. He knows fully well what your intention is.

“It hurts when your empathy is being misunderstood, but speak up for injustice, for this is what the Bible say’s.”- Nei

                                            

Jeremiah 30: 17 But I will restore your health and heal your wounds, declares the Lord.

After being badly hurt and broken by people I trusted the most, at one point in time in my life I even feel that I cannot trust and love others again like I used to. I knew deep down in my heart If I am a follower of Jesus I need to trust others, love others, help others as Jesus did, even though Jesus knew they are going to crucify Him, He still prays for them, forgive them ad love them anyway. I knew I need to do the same, but I can’t.

There comes a day on 25^th November 2019 a day after my birthday, I feel different, I was filled with joy, I can feel the warm sun, the cold air once again. As if the shackle in which I was bound was broken, I am set free… I can love, trust, smile again. God once again taught me how to love, trust others as He does, not expecting the same from others. God filled my heart with His love once again.  

The reason for this big change through prayer, I came to know only in the weakened, when I got my mobile, Carolyn told me on 24/11/19 on my birthday, prayer cell members and my family were praying for me on my birthday, even though I was not there. I thank God once again for I knew He was the one behind my healing.

People told me time heals, but I am sure time didn’t only Jesus heals…time only help us to forget or moved those bad experiences into our subconscious mind but it will pop out and hurt us, even more, when we go through a similar experience in the future but once we are healed by Jesus, we forgive, we didn’t forget but learn a lesson from it. When we face a similar experience in the future we know to whom we can take it. My dear if you are waiting for time to heal, you are waiting for something impossible…instead go to Jesus who is the doctor of doctors. 

“Time only helps moves the memories of bad experiences into our subconscious mind, only God heals.”-Nei